Tiny Miracles

If we're being completely honest, there are some days that I just struggle. 

☁Some days have been filled with burdening homesickness.  I really miss my kids and my grand babies in a heavy way. 

☁I miss my neighborhood and going to church in person.  

☁I miss the temple.  

☁Some days I really just don't know how to thrive here.  

☁I got called to Primary and doing Primary music over Zoom is incredibly challenging and --keeping in brutal honesty mode-- even with all of my experience in Primary, I'm not cut out for it. I really just don't know how to do it. It has been very stretching for me.  

☁We also haven't had very much money to spend.  This is because China doesn't financially honor spousal relationships and so I can't have access to the credit cards on the apps the Chinese pay with.  And there is a two month lag in pay before Tom gets paid from the company here.  So while we have money in the US, I have been pretty tied down because I can't spend that money. (Gratefully that will end in a couple of weeks when our Chinese bank will be funded. An updated note: 😔 we just learned yesterday that Tom won't get paid until August 25th--something to do with not having the taxes figured out...) 

⛅Most days I do okay, but I have had a few breaking points.  Tears.  Pity parties.  Lower levels of patience. Lack of motivation. More tears. Yeah.  I've been there. 

--BUT--

Heavenly Father has been making it crystal clear time and time again that we are where we are supposed to be here and that we are not alone.  Here are just two small miracles that shifted my perspective to a more sturdy place:

谢谢One night I was especially down, and in our couple prayer, I said with a fair amount of spite, "Please help me to figure out what I can even do here."   After I said it, I felt badly for being so demanding in an irreverent way.

Yet even that little pity party prayer was answered with blessings poured on my head.  The next day as I was preparing the blog posts about a temple and park visit, I was looking up the names of the park and temple and I ran into some helpful foreigner's blogs with no cost things to do here in Changzhou.  They listed interesting streets, parks and other things that would be great for us to explore.  (Google is not especially helpful here in China because the Chinese can't use it and add to it to make attractions, restaurants etc. searchable for folks like me.  They do have those websites in Chinese, but alas, I can't read characters!) Those little finds on the Internet not only helped us find things to do, but caused me to truly know that all of my needs are known and cared about.  I just need to ask.  Next time, humbly would be even better, but in that pinch, my hurting, but demanding, heart was generously answered. 😔

谢谢Another night right before my prayers I had the idea to look up something on YouTube for a Primary song.  I found a video and started to play it.  The lady said to get a plastic cup.  And then the Internet stopped working and I couldn't finish the video. ⫷ No worries, I could watch it in the morning.⫸  But all through the night ideas came to me as to how to use the plastic cup to teach the Primary song we were working on.  The next morning I finished watching the video and got a few more ideas, but they weren't as good as the ones I had received in the night.  If the video had loaded, I would have not received the catered instructions. That experience empowered me with confidence that while I don't know how to proceed with this calling, Jesus Christ does.  He is dependable and a genius!

Those two very very simple miracles changed me.  I'm known.  I'm being cared for.  I can trust. This is a great work.  I'm not here for me.  Darcee, pick yourself up and cheerfully move forward.

 谢谢

(Thank you in Chinese.)