Skip to main content

A Baby Shower

We were invited to a dinner on Sunday by someone at Tom's work.   We already had plans for a family to come to dinner, so we had to reschedule that.  We weren't quite sure what the dinner was, but one hour before it (during Church) Jacky started messaging Tom telling him that it was a baby shower and that we needed to take Â¥2000 in a red envelope ($280).  Thankfully we had a red envelope and the cash on hand.  

We were greeted by the grandfather (who had invited us) and we were ushered into a big room with 60 tables with 10 people at each table. We were ushered to Our seats were front and center. 😕

Here are some of the decorations:  the baby's head on the kid's body cracked me up.

It was a traditional Chinese meal with 20-25 dishes.  The cold dishes were on the table and as the meal progressed more dishes were added.  Here is a sampling of a few of the dishes.

Noodles, shrimp and scallop in a shell.
A whole chicken in broth. I don't know if anyone at our table ate any of this.
Crab over rice. The rice was very good.  The crab is good too, but very difficult to eat.
Soup dumplings. These are very good.
A whole fish of some sort.  It definitely tasted like the ocean and not as good as other fish that I've had.

We sat by Alex, President Hu's grandson, who went to college in Australia so his English is quite good.  He told us that the food for each table would be about Â¥6000.  That adds up to $50,400 for just the food (yes, US dollars).  A note about the food.  Chinese people really care about whether you've eaten or not.  In Chinese there is not a phrase like 'have a good day', instead you ask if they have eaten.  This part of their culture is reflected in these meals, they ALWAYS have an extraordinary amount of food left over at the end of the meal. In their eyes, it would be disgraceful to not.  I would venture to say that maybe only 30% of the food served is consumed.  They intentionally order more food so that everyone can eat to full and you don't feel bad about taking as much as you want because there is clearly plenty.  I'm here to debunk any phrases about "starving kids in China".... (although, there probably are many just like there are many in the US that you don't always see, which is sad because there is so much waste at these parties.)

In addition to the food costs, there was entertainment, decorations and gift baskets for everyone.  We don't know, but we think that perhaps this costly tradition stems from them having so few children so when one is born a very big celebration is given.

In the gift baskets, there were half a dozen eggs (so we came home with 2 dozen eggs), a mug, some noodles and some other snacks/treats.  

For entertainment, they had some balloon activities for the kids, a magician, and a couple of games where the kids could win stuffed animals and shake-a-phone-game.

While we were there, President Hu came over to Tom and asked if we wanted to come back for dinner at 6:00pm.  Being puzzled about why we were even invited to this big event in the first place, but not knowing the culture of courtesy for such things, we accepted the evening invitation.  (We've also learned that if President Hu invites you, you must go.)

We went home and had a nap and Come, Follow Me and went back at 6:00.  This time it was in a much smaller room--only 4 tables.  It seemed to be a close family setting--everyone was related--so we were REALLY puzzled as to why we were invited.  Another very puzzling thing about the evening dinner was that the food was *exactly* the same as the midday meal.  Exactly.  Tessa pointed out that there was a slight difference: the fruit was cut differently.  (At lunch they had triangles of watermelon with the rind.  At dinner they had triangles of watermelon without the rind and the rind was cut and sculpted on the plate.) I also wondered if some of food had been recycled, but it didn't look like it was.  Another puzzling item?  President Hu did not come.  We really have no idea how it all works....

From the evening event we came home with a cute box of cupcakes.  I wish they tasted good to us. But alas, they don't so they went to the garbage. (We tried to give them to some people, but they refused.) I wish I could send them to the starving kids in Africa.

Even after being here a year, we are still surprised by many cultural things.  My Chinese teacher explained that so much of it is to show your wealth and said that our evening invitation was probably to show off the close relationship the grandfather had with some Americans (although, one could never justify a close relationship between Tom and his coworker.  They sit at the same table at lunch--that is about it.)  We've had several people who have told us that it is a bragging right to have American friends. That definitely seems to be the case.  Too bad we can't invite all of them to our house for dinner.  But I'd sure like to!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Final Service Project--you can help!

Our time in China is quickly coming to an end.  We will be moving back to the US at the end of June.  I have had several impressions to conclude our time here with a service project.  I have learned that the local children's hospital is building a library and is in need of books.  My original plan was to involve many Chinese people in this project so they could feel the joy of service.  However as I have experienced over and over again, service is a very difficult concept for the Chinese people.  Their culture requires them to keep tabs of who they owe and who owes them.  They will not give if they don't see a direct benefit for themselves.  In addition to this, they lack trust because scams are rampant.  Thus, my requests for them to help with my project haven't gone anywhere. I don't blame them and I feel deeply for them. So my goals for the project have changed.  While Tom and I can provide many books to the library because books are ...

Christmas Wishes

Christmas is hard to find in China.  Most external things that signal to us that Christmastime coming is missing here.  We have to look hard to find Christmas trees and decorations.  The typical holiday events and gatherings are missing.  Snow or anticipation of snow is absent.  The music is almost non-existent.  Giving to others is not accepted (it causes extreme embarrassment because they feel like they owe you). This has caused me to look harder and be thankful for the Merry Christmas wishes I do find. I've also had to use my own initiative to fulfil my other Christmas wishes.  Here are some of my Christmas wishes for 2024 found and created: Generally, the government discourages the people from celebrating the 'Western' holiday.  But a few places do find a way to wish me a Merry Christmas! This year we had very vibrant Christmas colors in our complex.  They were stunning, Christmasy and very cheerful!  (pictures taken mid December) Th...

While We Are Waiting: Temples!

I love the temple.  When I first learned of the possibility of us moving to China in December 2019, one of my first questions was "How can I leave the temple?"  That question was answered in part during the closure of temples in 2020. However, when the joint venture was signed and Tom was officially offered the position in China in November 2020, I began fasting and praying that I would be able to attend the temple just once before we left.  Our original flights were for July 7, 2021 and just a few weeks before that, our temple opened up and miraculously we were able to get 2 appointments for baptisms and 4 other appointments for Tom and I before our departure date.  I can't express my deep gratitude for those 6 precious appointments.  Then when we didn't obtain a visa in time for those flights and access to nearby temples was given, I took up a new hobby.  Temple scheduling.  The girls teased me it was a bit of an obsessed hobby; but since we will go ...