The cost of our trip to the US was high. Some of it was financial. But much of it was emotional. Getting back into the country was very draining. And I had forgotten how hard quarantine is. I wasn't as prepared for it this time around. I really missed my yoga mat that I didn't get packed in our rush out; and I was much less willing to try the food. We all kind of went hungry for a week....
Quarantine was also draining because I was not as insistent on keeping things neat and tidy as I did the first time. We lived out of suitcases so that was a sprawling mess. I was surprised at how much that took out of me. And our room was so dumpy it was hard not to be burdened by the grossness....
On our last night of quarantine I was really down with the difficulty of it. I was feeling so burdened that I almost got to a point of feeling regret for even going to the US. The cost at that moment just weighed on me.
After I let myself have a little pity party, I said my prayers and went to bed. After I climbed in I was gently reminded of the sweetness of our visit and though things surrounding our return were very difficult, the experiences I had were gifts and the difficulty of the quarantine and our trip would soon pale in comparison. I was happy to go to sleep with a happier heart.
Then I was awakened in the night about all of the wonderful things about our trip:
It was so good to be at Carolyn's funeral. It was one of the best funerals I've ever been to. She was a remarkable woman; extremely ordinary, but because she used her talents to bless others and followed the Spirit, her influence was amazing. I'm blessed every single day by her life. I don't think we would have experienced the same sense of closure participating from the funeral from afar.
I got to meet my grandson who was born in June and spend time with our boys, and their families. This was so sweet for me. Such a treasure. This time just could not be replaced or understated. I love all of those dear people.
We got to enjoy many things from the US that we have missed. Food, special time with friends, beautiful scenery that we miss so much and a football game!
And I got to go to the temple. I was able to go 9 times in the 16 days we were there. Words are not sufficient to express how this buoyed me up. And how much I learned. I just soaked up the time I was able to be there.
After this little experience with the gamut of emotions, I also realized that even though hard, quarantine was a productive gift. I listened to many devotionals, had extra study time, indexed, planned Christmas, and bought a boatload of Christmas decorations on Taobao. So all is well and I need to learn that pity parties are never helpful or productive. I was just thankful this one was very short lived.
While I was able to come to a happier spot about quarantine, I'm indeed glad it is over!!!! I'm ready for some home cooked meals, clothes from a closet and a more normal schedule.
(And please dear friends, keep sending me your temple words. They keep me afloat more than you know!)
I love everything about this post. We all have those pity parties, but what a blessing to remember the good things about your visit to overcome the difficulty of your return to China. I am so grateful that we had a chance to visit and share experiences of our lives together.
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