To be frankly honest, living in China is difficult. The language barrier is huge--it's one thing to not be able to understand, but to not be able to read is even more difficult (try ordering something online or finding your way on a map in Chinese....), in-person shopping is so difficult (not having a vehicle to carry enough supplies for the week requires you to make multiple trips; nor can all shopping be done at one store), the red tape in China is ever present, online school is very stretching for the girls (and therefore to parent), not to mention the difficulty of being away from family and friends. Thankfully, many things have become easier as we have learned lots, figured out a little bit and received at least some pay (as of yet, we still haven't to receive the additional amount the US company is sending over and the back pay for the months we didn't get paid). But there are still pretty big frequent struggles. To mitigate the difficulties we face, it is absolutely crucial for us to serve others here. If we didn't we would crumble.
How have we found to serve here?
🌀Smile and wave. (And then pray.)
This is our main way of serving. We garner lots of stares and when we get them, I just smile and wave. The people almost always light up, smile and wave back, make a little giggle sound like they are tickled that we would notice them. This really is so joyful! I pray often for those people who notice us--that they can feel hope for their lives and receive answers in solving problems they have.
🌀Make rolls for others.
I have been so thankful to have found my grandma's roll recipe on FamilySearch. While I could be making another roll recipe, the people really seem to be impressed that they are receiving something from my family. Some people have said that it is 'an honor' to receive these from her recipe. I have made them for people at Tom's work, the service people in our complex (cleaners, security guards etc.), our driver, landlady & property manager, people who have helped us with field trips etc. No one has ovens, so this is something they have never had and is a real treat for them.
🌀Help others learn English.
One day our property manager was over and we visited for a while. In our conversation she mentioned she wanted her son to speak better English and the struggles she's had with his English acquisition. So I offered to help. At first she said that it could be risky because if people who teach English for income found out, they could turn me in for taking business away from them. But then she decided that since I was doing it for free it wouldn't be a problem (Jacky later confirmed that to be correct). After I offered to help, she jumped out of her chair and hugged me--so uncharacteristic in the Chinese culture, and kept saying "I'm so lucky! I'm so lucky!"
Another time we were in a store, a man and his young daughter were staring at us. I did the usual of smiling and waving, but their staring persisted. So I pulled a penny out of my purse to give to the little girl. We parted ways. Later this man approached me and in very broken English pleaded with me. "China not good for childs." "Can you help my childs learn English?" I was touched by his bravery and plea. We became friends on We-Chat, which translates and allows us to communicate. We invited his family over one Sunday afternoon and I gave them two picture books (that I learned we can order on Taobao) to help them practice their English. (This also has been a great friendship because he has kept us aware of different issues within China that we may want to be aware of as Americans. And his wife is someone who may be able to teach me to cook a few Chinese dishes.)
🌀Have people over for dinner.
Thankfully and finally this dream became a reality. But there were (and still are) hurdles: 1) cook good tasting non-Chinese food (HARD!), 2) produce enough food for more than 4 with my limited capacities 3) acquire needed ingredients that are often hard to find. But we've have 4 dinner guests on 4 occasions! Tickled me pink! It has been delightful to share food from home with Chinese people (and for the most part, it has been well received). Tom asked our Branch president if we could bless the food when we have Chinese dinner guests, and he said we could. So yes, we have a blessing on the food! (That's the real service right there.)
🌀Volunteer in a school.
I thought this would be a great experience for the girls and something easy to do. As usual, my expectations were turned upside down. In the US, to volunteer you can talk to the right person and then show up and help. Here in China, after all the things Jacky and Mr. Hu's wife worked out, I had to produce my expired teaching certificate (that thankfully Chandler was able to retrieve from our house). When things were finally set up I got a phone message telling me where and when to show up. It also said something that sounded like I might be teaching a little lesson, so I took some picture books just in case. When we showed up, we learned that it wasn't just a little mini lesson, but I am the only teacher of an actual class! I thought I had learned to never be surprised at anything here in China, but I was very stunned by this! I have 40 7th graders from 6:00-7:00pm every Wednesday night. I can teach whatever I want in English as long as it is not politics. This will be totally fun for me, but I'm still stunned I have a full-on teaching position here in China! (See note at the end.)
🌀I have been so thankful for the soothing salve of service. It has softened the blow of many difficult things. As Tom's grandma is said to have said, "When you're having a hard time, go do something for somebody else and you'll feel better." This is indeed true. And because of the principle of service, I'm doing well.
Note: Sadly the Chinese school system is not the best. Seventh graders begin their first class of the day at 7:00am. They have one more class after mine. So they go from 7am-8pm. 9th grader's first class starts at 6:00am and they go until 9:00pm. In addition to that, there is homework after school. To make that awful schedule even worse, since teachers don't make enough money, they withhold some of the curriculum so the parents will hire them to tutor their students. I suppose this happens on Saturday and Sunday. No wonder we never see any teenagers. It is so sad. The people around here are well off enough to live near good schools, but if they don't, they send their child to live at the school and board--an education is that important to them. It's such a high cost, but without it, life is very destitute. We have some children in our Primary who can't attend very often because they go to boarding school and don't come home every weekend. These are children under 11! It truly is so sad to see--and it has made us very grateful for personal revelation that caused us to feel that doing online school was the right thing for us. Online school is difficult, but it is not nearly as difficult as in person school would be here.
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