Lost in Translation

Google Translate is becoming a valued companion.  Wang Jian (WJ) doesn't speak much English, and I speak even less Chinese.  He has not only been my driver, but my tour guide and bodyguard (not that I need a body guard; it's very safe here) but he is very protective of me---I can't carry too much in a store, I can't get too far out of his sight etc.  So he doesn't just drive us to the desired location and have us fend for ourselves, he follows us around to make sure we don't get lost and we're well taken care of. And actually, it has been really nice! I'm not really fond of getting lost. But I'm sure he gets such a kick out of us experiencing all of this newness.  We must be incredibly entertaining!  For example, packaging is different on most things; the other day I picked up a glue stick to inspect what it was.  It took me quite a long time to figure it out and then I showed it to the girls and announced what it was to them and we giggled.  He probably thought I had never seen a glue stick in my life!  He took us to a mall today.  He keeps his distance and I'm sure he doesn't love sitting in female clothing stores, but he doesn't let us get lost!  I'm thankful!

However, we do need to communicate. So we have to have conversations via our phones.  He types something into his phone that translates to English and shows it to me...I type something back on my phone that translates into Chinese and show it to him.  It works mostly well.  I'm not sure how puzzling what I type up must be, because sometimes what he says stumps me and I have to figure out what he means.  I can't remember anything specific on his messages, but here are some examples of things we've seen that things just don't translate well to give you an idea.

🔵We got a message in Chinese the other day about the gas lines.  Part of it said, "the gas cooker is anti extinguished."  I don't know, maybe I just don't speak English well enough to understand that.

🔵A toothbrush cover said that it was a 'toothbrush suit'.

🔵A box that we think meant 'Fragile' but instead it said:  'Value do not trample'.

🔵The character on a 'reset' button translated to:  regain the throne. 

🔵Our washing machine spin cycle button translates to:  dehydrator.

🔵In our building there is a place to park your scooter.  The sign calls it the:  Vehicle Library.

🔵Then you have things like this on occasion:

Many times the Chinese are kinder in their communication than we are.  This sign is all around the gardens in our complex.  It doesn't translate to 'keep off the flowers and grass' though.  It's a kind reminder to enjoy.

I make really good use of that one.  If the girls step on the grass, I tell them "You are not cherishing the grass!" 

I saw this one in a clothing changing room. In the US it would say something like "Don't get your make up on our clothes" but here it is kinder:

"Civilized Smoking Booth"

Meanwhile, I'm cherishing the grass, regaining the throne and trying to figure out what WJ is saying to me and remembering that I'm probably just as confusing/entertaining to him.